How do you stay on top of all your responsibilities as a Chief Risk Officer, a mother, a daughter and a wife, and still do them well? For Jackie Chew, it was learning to not sweat the small stuff.

The value of independence

“Don’t be too hard on yourself. We don’t have to be perfect in everything — learn how to let go.” Jackie speaks from experience. Growing up, both her parents left for work first thing in the morning and returned late at night. At the age of 12, she was left in charge of her nine-year-old sister.

As the older child, Jackie had to run the household herself. “I think that shaped the values of appreciating what I currently have, and also the very independent streak that I have in me, as well as resilience.”

Managing different priorities

Juggling numerous responsibilities is a skill that Jackie has honed, and that’s what makes her good at her job. Despite this, even she struggled with self-doubt when trying to establish herself in the corporate world as a woman.

Jackie continues: “When a woman goes and second guesses herself, they’re actually looking for support. They’re actually looking for encouragement, but to a person who doesn’t understand, it might come across as them lacking confidence.”

For Jackie, multitasking tendencies and a perfectionist streak have been her biggest obstacles. It isn’t easy being a working mom, juggling work responsibilities with family commitments. “We want to manage everything, right down to what our kids have for dinner, what our husbands have for dinner. So we put a lot of stress on ourselves, trying to just manage so many different elements.”

The most important thing she had to learn was how to prioritise what mattered more, in both her work and family life. “I think that as women, we need to learn to cope with our own stress factors and understand that it’s okay to let go a little bit sometimes.”

Forging meaningful relationships

Jackie admits that there were many low points where she felt like giving up.

This is where mentorship is important, because it comes in all shapes and forms, including the person sitting next to her. “I’ve had people see that I’m feeling low and drop me a card just to cheer me up, or buy me a bouquet of flowers or coffee because they want to tell me to hang in there. It lifts you and you live for another day.”

Mentorship is about leaving a legacy. “Even now, sometimes before I make a big decision, I would check in with my mentors who played a role in my journey. And to me, that’s their legacy, right?”

Leaving a legacy

And if legacy building is the impact a person has on another person’s life, what would Jackie’s own legacy be?

Jackie (bottom) catching up with Agnes (left) and Lai See (right) during the circuit breaker period

When her mentee, Agnes Lim, High Net Worth Business Manager, faced the same kind of stress trying to balance her career while taking care of her elderly parents, it was Jackie who taught her how to be less hard on herself for not following that one set path to success. Describing the struggle that women like Jackie and her face, Agnes says, “It’s hard to find a balance between wanting to do well at work and not forgetting the people at home, while also trying to figure out your own career.”

With the new perspective that Jackie gave, Agnes is trying to do things a bit differently. “I'm talking to a lot more people to try and figure out what's there for me and not close myself off to the people I already know. I really try to put myself out there and be a bit more open to what people have to offer.”

Jackie’s down-to-earth nature, as well as her communication style are also aspects that her other mentee Chan Lai See, IT Principal Consultant, really admires. “She can keep calm even when the situation is really volatile, and even initiated a session with her team to listen to their uncertainties, their feedback and fears, and answer them one by one.” For her, Jackie’s mentorship was not about technical training, but also learning how to listen and communicate with others.

As for advice for other people who are walking in the same path as her, Jackie has one thing to say, “Don't be too hard on yourself.”

“We like to be perfect in everything, but learn how to let go and focus on the things that truly matter.”